These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
