I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
