So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize