"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I understand Curling. That high.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
