Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
