Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
