haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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