I wannas sexs uuuuu
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
