I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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