Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize