If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
