I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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