sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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