i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
