I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
