he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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