oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
