Yo dont text me then not text me
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
