I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
