blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
