...so i touched it.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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