O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
