y did u give ur computer a hand job?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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