Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
they need to just BURY HIM!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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