Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
