ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
