So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
