I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
