Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
