I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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