is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
