its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
