and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
