I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
