If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
