Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Randomize