His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
