is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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