I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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