Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
