I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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