party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
