he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
