I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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