How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
