Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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