i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize