I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
