ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
