Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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