Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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