she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
