i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
