I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
this boner is exhausting
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
