Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i may or may not be watching the land before time
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize