does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Randomize
