I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
