Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
