He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She bit a glass in half.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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