So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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