Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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