is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
