okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
