ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
