she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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