Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
