so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize