but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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