He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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