I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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