**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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