I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
