i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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