How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
